we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
