I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
