Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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