My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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