well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
