elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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