there was a trapeze. enough said
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
