Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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