Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
