im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
