quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
