I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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