all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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