Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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