Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
