Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize