and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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