i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
