it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
