Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
