Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
