I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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