thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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