:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
