my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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