I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
