I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
