a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
