Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
