where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
