toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
how can u be prego again
My nipple is on Facebook.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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