It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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