He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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