so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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