omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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