I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
did i walk over a car last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
