So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm eating all of the evidence.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
