i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
