i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
