absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can i not drive my cunt home
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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