I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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