Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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