i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
