Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I deserve this hangover.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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