its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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