hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
