Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
