So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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