she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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