The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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