Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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