And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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