I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
