Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
