why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
