True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
