This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
