you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
