Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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