Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
