I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
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