My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
